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Kegal Exercises & Ben Wa Balls

A simple guide on the how and why of kegel exercises and how weights such as Ben Wa Balls benefit vaginal health.

 

At Smitten we hear questions about this popular product all the time! Ben Wa Balls are by many names such as kegel balls, pleasure balls, kegel weights or Geisha Balls. Ben Wa Balls are small balls that can be made of metal, plastic or glass. They are usually solid but can also contain a small weight that rolls around inside them, creating a vibrating sensation for unique stimulation.

 

Ben Wa Balls are inserted into the vagina and require use of the muscles in the vagina (also known as pelvic floor or ’PC’ muscles) to hold them in place, therefore, helping to strengthen these important muscles. Building up the PC muscles aids in vaginal strength, bladder control, bowl urgency issues, orgasm control and can lead to more intense orgasms! Ben Wa Balls that are weighted create a ‘vibrating’ sensation when they are rocked back and forth. These may also called pleasure balls or duo-tone balls.

 

The first time you use your Ben Wa Balls can be a little intimidating. That’s why we have

put together the following guide.

 

Steps to Use Ben Wa Balls

  1. Use the restroom before inserting the balls in the vagina.
  2. Insert one ball at a time. You can put lubrication on the balls to help them glide in. Inserting the balls is similar to inserting an applicator-less tampon, such as O.B.. If you’re not used to inserting tampons or if you’re having trouble, try lifting one leg up or crouching while inserting the balls. You can also try inserting them while lying down.
  3. Once they are inserted, squeeze your leg muscles together followed by your PC muscles to hold the balls in. The balls should push down a little bit inside of you and may make your vagina feel “full”. Much like tampons, you should eventually get used to the feeling.
  4. Hold the balls inside for 10-15 minutes a day to strengthen your PC muscles. Once you become used to them you can hold them in for longer periods, even hours, for an even better workout!
  5. If any balls slip out, simply wash them well with cleaner and water and slip them back in.
  6. There are several ways to remove the balls including: jumping up and down, sneezing, coughing, sitting and bearing down with your pelvic muscles, lubricant can also help them slide out, etc. If you are concerned about removing the balls, you may want to purchase balls that are strung onto a retrieval cord. In any case do not panic! It is NOT possible for the balls to disappear inside the vagina, they will eventually come out on their own.

 

If you are new to Ben Wa Balls you may want to start by using larger glass or plastic balls rather than the heavier metal balls. These materials tend to be lighter and the larger size will help you to hold the balls in and gradually increase the strength of your PC muscles while you work your way up to heavier weights.

 

Start off using the balls at home and do not attempt any vigorous activity while you are getting used to them. Even coughing or sneezing could cause the balls to fall out. Once you have built up the strength of your PC muscles you may try wearing them in public, however, keep in mind that metal balls will set off metal detectors and having them come out accidentally could be awkward so plan accordingly.

 

Ben Wa Balls can also be used to enhance sexual stimulation. Rocking back and forth while the balls are inserted will stimulate the inside of the vagina and use during intercourse will move the balls around stimulating both the vagina and the penis.

 

Stay away from Ben Wa Balls that have a cloth or cotton string connecting them together. These strings are very difficult to properly clean and could possibly lead to infection.

 

As you can see, Ben Wa Balls have many benefits! These small little weights allow you to improve your sex life while having fun at the same time and are the easiest workout routine you will ever have! It’s easy to see why women world-wide have loved their Ben Wa Balls for hundreds of years!

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Anal Sexploration

 

Even though some may view it as‘taboo’anal play has become an increasingly populararea for sexual exploration.Making the decision to try any new sexual activity should always be a choice that allindividuals involved are comfortable with and no one shouldfeel pressured to trysomething they are not fully comfortable with. If trying anal play with a partnercommunicate with them first. Anal play requires time, a slow build up and a sustainedperiod of arousal.

The anus and rectum are highly erogenous zones. They respond tofeelings of touch,pressure, movement and can be incredibly pleasurable. Anal play is not onlypleasurable for individuals but can also be an adventurous way of increasing intimacybetween partners.This brochure highlights some important topics and provides tips to keep in mind whenstarting to explore anal play.

Learn About Anal Play

There are several pleasure points to remember. The openingof the anus contains thehighest amount of nerve endings. After that the anus responds mostly to feelings offullness or pressure. For men, putting pressure on the front wall of the anus a couple ofinches in will stimulate the prostate. For women, the tip of theinternal clitoral‘legs’ and/or G-spot can also be stimulated.

Relax and Go Slow

Explore the anal opening, anal canal and, for men, the prostate gland. Be consciousand communicate what feels good and what does not. If anal stimulation becomesoverwhelming, physically or emotionally then slow down or try again another time.Remember to breathe and relax, if it hurts, do not force it. Painis an indication that youmay be moving too quickly.

Explore & Experiment

There are many types of anal play,including touching with fingers, body parts or toys,licking or oral contact (known as rimming) or gently pullingopen the buttocks for deeperpenetration.Try using fantasy and dirty talk enhance anal play!

Play Safe

Since the tissue lining theanus& rectum is very sensitive special precautions should betaken. Anything used near or in the anus should be smooth, free of jagged edges and fingernails should be trimmed and clean or covered with aglove. Only use toys with aflared base that prevents them from being drawn into the rectum- anything that can slipout of your grasp and be drawn in will not be easily removed.

Keep Clean

Do not put anything from the anus to vagina – bacteria that live quite happily in the anuswill cause problems in the vagina. Use a fresh barrier on toys/body parts and wash verythoroughly. Use a dental dam or slice open a condom to use as a barrier for oral-analcontact.

Lube is VERY Important

Lubricant is essential for anal penetration as the anus does not produce its ownlubrication. Thicker lubricants will help to provide a barrier.

Ready, Willing & Able

The only reason to have anal sex is because you want to have anal sex. Forcing analsex will result in a negative experience because you are unable to relax enough to enjoyit. There are many great books about anal sex, plus most sex manuals include achapter about anal sex. Take some time to learn the basic partsof your anal anatomy.Knowledge helps you to make a good decision for you and understand the experience.

Communication

No doubt surprising your partner in bed can be fun but“surprising them”by trying tohave anal sex without talking about it first isn’t a good idea. Anal sex requires thereceptive partner to be relaxed, feel safe and trust you to not make any sudden moves that will hurt them. Open & honest communication is important.

Avoid Numbing Products

Some lubricants and lotions will contain numbing ingredientssuch as benzocaine orlidocaine which numb the anus preventing you from feeling pain and being able to tellwhen your limits are being pushed. This could lead to long-term discomfort or eveninjury from tearing. Smitten carries a variety of relaxing products that soothe and relaxthe area without a numbing effect.

Work From the Outside In

Start by exploring your partner’s entire backside with your hands and fingers. Usinggloves and lots of lube gently touch and massage the anal opening. Pay attention tohow their body is responding to different kinds of touch and where they like to betouched. Try a circular massaging motion or gently knead theskin and muscleunderneath.

Anal Sex Positions

Anal sex requires slow penetration and requires a longer period of sexual arousal.Sometimes changing positions can mean a break in arousal that may get in the way for some but for others changing anal sex positions can bump up the heat and feel great. There isn’t one perfect anal sex position that works for everyone. If youenjoy anal sex itis best to experiment until you find one, or a few, that work for you.

Sex Toys

Anal sex toys can be a great way to explore anal sex. It can be a good idea to let thepartner being penetrated play with the toy on their own firstso that they can getcomfortable with it. See our info sheet on“Anal Sex Safety”regarding appropriate anal toy usage.

Get Feedback from Your Partner

Be sure to check in with your partner often during anal sex.You can do this verbally(How does that feel? Do you want more, less, different?) or non-verbally with their bodylanguage (Are they tensing up? Moving more? Has their breathing changed?) All of thisinformation can help you get into a rhythm with your partner and know when to speedup, slow down or keep going.

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Anal Sex Safety

This article has been adapted for our website from our series of educational brochuresavailable at your local Smitten.  Anal sex differs from vaginal sex in many ways. This is a guide to help you perform analsex safely for both you and your partner.  When practicing anal sex having safer-sex barriers on hand (such as condoms andgloves) to protect yourself and your partner is a good idea. Hereare a few pointers tokeep you and your partner(s) safe while practicing anal sex.

Taking Off the Gloves

Avoid touching the outside of a used glove. To remove glove, put a clean finger underthe cuff of the glove and pull it down and right off your hand at once so the glove turns inside out. This way you won’t come in contact with any part of the outside surface of the used glove. Be sure to wash your hands carefully after removing theglove.

Taking Off the Condom

Remove used condoms carefully by rolling down & turning it inside out. Wash yourhands carefully with soap & water. Never reuse the condom to have vaginal intercourseas this increase the risk of serious infection. Using a condom on any sex toys that youwillbeusing anally is also a good idea to protect the toys and make them easier toclean.

Lube, Lube & More Lube

Have plenty of personal lubricant on hand to replenish duringsex play. There is nonatural lubrication in the anus & rectum, so you must add yourown lubricant beforeengaging in anal sex…and more is always better! Silicone & gel based lubes are ideal for anal sex as they last longer & stay in place the best. The rectum is lined with thin,delicate tissue, the more lubrication you have the less chance of injury to the area.

Tips for Safer Anal Sex

For a toy to be considered safe for anal play it should:

– Be seamless, with no sharp edges, rough spots or anything that can easily comeoff. Tissue in the rectum can be easily damaged and even the smallest tear can cause problems.

– Have a wide flared base or ring. This prevents it from being drawn up into therectum. The anus has a suction-like effect whereby items can be drawn up andinto it, often requiring an uncomfortable trip to the hospital.

– Never insert anything (sex toy, finger, etc.) that has been used during anal playinto the vagina afterwards. You must thoroughly wash this toywith anti-bacterialtoy cleaner and hot water first. Anal beads with cotton/cloth cords are nearly impossible to be washed properly and should be avoided altogether

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Keeping in mind that the anal/rectal tissue is delicate:

– Always use plenty of lubrication during anal sex play & re- lube as necessary.

– Keep fingernails & hangnails well trimmed, filed smooth and gloved.

– Go slow and be gentle; with practice & a shared comfort level the intensity canbe increased.

– Never force anything into the anus. Press the tip gently against the anal opening and wait for the opening to relax. Keep stimulating your partner’s othererogenous zones at the same time.

– There are 2 sphincters in the anus, one is voluntary and the other is involuntary.This is why you must be relaxed for these to open on their own and for comfortduring penetration.

– Pay attention to your partner’s movements and move with, not against, them.Once the sphincter muscles relax you’ll feel it drawing in the toy/finger/penis. Letyourself slide in only as much as your partner’s body allows.Once things become more comfortable you can begin to experiment with differentmovements and positions. Pay attention to how the body is responding to thesemovements and ask your partner how they feel. Anal penetration is not like vaginalpenetration and it has to build up slower and may never beas vigorous. If you areunsure you can ask them to do the moving at first and keep your body still.

Clean Up

Fecal matter and bacteria from the rectum will be spread after contact with the outside or inside of the area. You should never move from anal play to vaginal play withoutwashing carefully first. Clean the lube bottles well afterwards as you may use these same lubes for vaginal use also. You can also use a condom onyour toys to reduce thechance of spreading bacteria but be sure you still clean them after use. Try not to touchthe cap with the same hand you are using to touch yourself as the cap is often harder toget clean. Silicone anal toys that do not have any electronic parts can be boiled in waterfor 2 to 5 minutes. Remember to wash your hands after cleaning toys and lube bottles.

These tips should all be talked about with your partner experimenting with anal sex andstimulation. Remember to always communicate with your partner tomake the entire experience a pleasurable one for you both. And as always, remember to love lots and play safe!