Even though some may view it as‘taboo’anal play has become an increasingly populararea for sexual exploration.Making the decision to try any new sexual activity should always be a choice that allindividuals involved are comfortable with and no one shouldfeel pressured to trysomething they are not fully comfortable with. If trying anal play with a partnercommunicate with them first. Anal play requires time, a slow build up and a sustainedperiod of arousal.
The anus and rectum are highly erogenous zones. They respond tofeelings of touch,pressure, movement and can be incredibly pleasurable. Anal play is not onlypleasurable for individuals but can also be an adventurous way of increasing intimacybetween partners.This brochure highlights some important topics and provides tips to keep in mind whenstarting to explore anal play.
Learn About Anal Play
There are several pleasure points to remember. The openingof the anus contains thehighest amount of nerve endings. After that the anus responds mostly to feelings offullness or pressure. For men, putting pressure on the front wall of the anus a couple ofinches in will stimulate the prostate. For women, the tip of theinternal clitoral‘legs’ and/or G-spot can also be stimulated.
Relax and Go Slow
Explore the anal opening, anal canal and, for men, the prostate gland. Be consciousand communicate what feels good and what does not. If anal stimulation becomesoverwhelming, physically or emotionally then slow down or try again another time.Remember to breathe and relax, if it hurts, do not force it. Painis an indication that youmay be moving too quickly.
Explore & Experiment
There are many types of anal play,including touching with fingers, body parts or toys,licking or oral contact (known as rimming) or gently pullingopen the buttocks for deeperpenetration.Try using fantasy and dirty talk enhance anal play!
Since the tissue lining theanus& rectum is very sensitive special precautions should betaken. Anything used near or in the anus should be smooth, free of jagged edges and fingernails should be trimmed and clean or covered with aglove. Only use toys with aflared base that prevents them from being drawn into the rectum- anything that can slipout of your grasp and be drawn in will not be easily removed.
Do not put anything from the anus to vagina – bacteria that live quite happily in the anuswill cause problems in the vagina. Use a fresh barrier on toys/body parts and wash verythoroughly. Use a dental dam or slice open a condom to use as a barrier for oral-analcontact.
Lube is VERY Important
Lubricant is essential for anal penetration as the anus does not produce its ownlubrication. Thicker lubricants will help to provide a barrier.
Ready, Willing & Able
The only reason to have anal sex is because you want to have anal sex. Forcing analsex will result in a negative experience because you are unable to relax enough to enjoyit. There are many great books about anal sex, plus most sex manuals include achapter about anal sex. Take some time to learn the basic partsof your anal anatomy.Knowledge helps you to make a good decision for you and understand the experience.
No doubt surprising your partner in bed can be fun but“surprising them”by trying tohave anal sex without talking about it first isn’t a good idea. Anal sex requires thereceptive partner to be relaxed, feel safe and trust you to not make any sudden moves that will hurt them. Open & honest communication is important.
Avoid Numbing Products
Some lubricants and lotions will contain numbing ingredientssuch as benzocaine orlidocaine which numb the anus preventing you from feeling pain and being able to tellwhen your limits are being pushed. This could lead to long-term discomfort or eveninjury from tearing. Smitten carries a variety of relaxing products that soothe and relaxthe area without a numbing effect.
Work From the Outside In
Start by exploring your partner’s entire backside with your hands and fingers. Usinggloves and lots of lube gently touch and massage the anal opening. Pay attention tohow their body is responding to different kinds of touch and where they like to betouched. Try a circular massaging motion or gently knead theskin and muscleunderneath.
Anal Sex Positions
Anal sex requires slow penetration and requires a longer period of sexual arousal.Sometimes changing positions can mean a break in arousal that may get in the way for some but for others changing anal sex positions can bump up the heat and feel great. There isn’t one perfect anal sex position that works for everyone. If youenjoy anal sex itis best to experiment until you find one, or a few, that work for you.
Anal sex toys can be a great way to explore anal sex. It can be a good idea to let thepartner being penetrated play with the toy on their own firstso that they can getcomfortable with it. See our info sheet on“Anal Sex Safety”regarding appropriate anal toy usage.
Get Feedback from Your Partner
Be sure to check in with your partner often during anal sex.You can do this verbally(How does that feel? Do you want more, less, different?) or non-verbally with their bodylanguage (Are they tensing up? Moving more? Has their breathing changed?) All of thisinformation can help you get into a rhythm with your partner and know when to speedup, slow down or keep going.