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Male Hot Spots

Want to know more about what drives your partner crazy in the bedroom? Here are a few ideas and tips to explore together! If you desire him intensely this is a big turn on for sure. Showing your partner that you have genuine interest in learning to please him could ramp up the intensity in your relationship. Don’t be afraid to take the lead and take control, most men will love this!


Here are a few erogenous zones to explore on your partner, keeping in mind that not everyone is the same or likes the same things. Communicate with your partner to see which areas they are comfortable exploring and which ones to keep exploring!


Scalp & Hair

This is a great erogenous zone as he may not be expecting you to pay attention to this area. Many men like to have their scalp massaged or have your fingers or nails run throughout their hair gently. Some men also like to have their hair tugged, this indicates you really desire and want him!


His Ears

There are many nerve endings concentrated in the ears making them especially sensitive to touch. Use your index finger and thumb to massage the outer ears with slow, firm movements, squeeze the earlobes and use your tongue to target behind the ear kissing and nibbling. Tracing your tongue around the outer and inner ear lobe can really get things going.


His Lips

Lips are as sensitive for men as they are for women and who doesn’t like being kissed passionately? It shows your desire and hunger for him and he will be lost in the moment wondering what happens next! Try kissing softly at first and alternately kissing his upper & lower lips gradually increasing the pace and letting your tongue flit in and out. Combine this with some gentle hand exploration of the rest of his body showing him the promise of more to ‘cum’! Lips respond well to sensations of cold too so have some ice water nearby to give your mouth a pleasant coolness then kiss him some more.


His Neck

Always a great place to go next, especially after he has been passionately kissed. Target different areas of the neck including the areas under and behind the ears and all the way down to the collar bone. Start out gently and progress to harder and more passionate kisses to really turn him on.


His Chest

To a lot of men the chest signifies masculinity, when their partner spends some time paying attention to it, it’s a huge turn on! Massage, kiss and comment on it how it turns you on. Men’s nipples are very sensitive and respond well to sucking & nibbling.

Watch for his reaction, some men like it soft and some like it rough, so feel your way gently.


Inner Thighs

This area is an often neglected erogenous zone, not many partners target the inner thighs choosing to head to a “nearby area” too quickly! Touching, kissing, licking or nibbling all will feel good to most men.



The perineum is the area between the scrotum and the anus. There is a lot of nerve endings located here and it can be very sensitive if you fondle or stroke it. Try massaging and stroking the perineum as he orgasms. You can also use your tongue to take things to new heights.



The scrotum holds the testicles and is a very sensitive and delicate part of any man’s body. Keep in mind to go VERY gently. Too much pressure to the testicles can cause pain, but it still remains a highly erotic area. Play with the testicles gently with your hands and if you have the right position gently massage during intercourse. You can also suck or lick the scrotum and even place it right into your mouth.


The Penis

This is one of the most powerful erogenous zones the male body possesses and will always bring massive pleasure, if targeted correctly. Remember to visit the other zones from time to time because the journey is undeniably as pleasurable as the destination. This is usually the most sensitive part of his body so go carefully as some men are very sensitive. Remember to communicate with him and see what he likes best. There are numerous techniques both “hands on” and oral that you can use.


Learning to target your guys erogenous zones can be a highly pleasurable experience for both partners. As a woman you gain sexual confidence as you deepen your knowledge of the man you adore. Remember as with any exploration to communicate all the time to make sure you are getting it right for him. Check out our other pamphlets for more ideas to turn your man on.

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Female Hot Spots

No doubt you are pretty great at getting your partner’s motor running but we are here to offer just a few more ideas that could help you better understand how she “ticks” in the intimacy & pleasure department. The more you know about your partner the more likely you are able to drive her crazy in bed time & time again!


The Most Important Female Sex Organ is…

The brain! Your most powerful sexual signals such as attitudes, desires and fantasies are received & processed in the brain. Most women need to feel emotionally connected and/or comfortable with their partner in order to relax, let themselves go and fully enjoy sex. Foreplay starts LONG before she is even touched. If she’s just not in the mood take a few minutes to consider what is going on at the time, is she worn out from a long day at work, dealing with family or taking care of the kids all day? If so then the best way for you to get your woman thinking amorously is to recognize this and offer to help her so she can put her feet up and simply relax. When she realizes that you understand and are willing to allow her the time she needs to unwind you will definitely earn some bedroom points! The more you do to help her feel loved and supported the easier it is for her to express to you just how much she appreciates you.


What Else Turns A Woman On?

Women need time to become aroused before intercourse. This is best achieved with diamonds… just kidding! But even a little gift can go a long way, such as bringing home her favorite treat or helping her with a chore. Give your lady a chance to get turned on prior to intercourse. Help her relax by playing her favorite music, touch and caress her gently or give her a romantic massage. Compliment her and tell her how sexy & beautiful she is. Be sure to turn off the TV and make sure that you aren’t likely to be interrupted. When a woman realizes that you are willing to do some planning for her you will earn even more bedroom points!


Her Erogenous Zones

Simply put an erogenous zone is any area of the human body that can feel sexually pleasing when touched and caressed. Everyone is different with individual preferences ranging from the common, such as her breasts or genitals, to earlobes or feet. Take the time to get to know your partner’s likes & dislikes, communication is the basis for a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship and she will love you even more for wanting to know.


Here are some of the most common erogenous zones around the body that are great stops to make along the journey of foreplay:

  • Breasts & nipples
  • Neck; especially the nape or back of the neck
  • Earlobes & area around the ears
  • Face; including eyelids and lips
  • Lower back & glutes
  • Inner thighs


Once foreplay progresses don’t forget some of these intricate areas of female anatomy:

  • Vulva; the external parts of her vagina including the labia or lips
  • Clitoris and clitoral hood; this area is very sensitive to stimulation and contains 8,000 nerve endings, double the nerve endings as the glans of the penis!
  • G-spot; located on the front wall of the vagina, 1.5”-2” inches in on the front wall of the vagina. This area responds to steady stroking & pressure. It is a bit tougher to find but with some practice is a very pleasurable area. For more information on the G-spot see our informational brochures on what the G-spot is and how to find it.
  • Anus & rectum; full of concentrated nerve endings that when stimulated can be highly pleasurable, even orgasmic. Before embarking on anal play talk to your partner to make sure they are comfortable playing in this area.


As always communication is essential with your partner, be sure to keep the lines of communication open always! All partners are different so experiment to see what gets your partner in the mood.

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What is the Female G-Spot?

The G-spot has always been regarded with curiosity and interest. No matter who you are or what your sexual experiences have been, the G-spot is a fantastic pleasure center that has women of all experience levels talking. The information in this pamphlet is meant to help you in your quest to find the G-spot!


In 1950, German physician Ernest Grafenberg (pictured above), first described the G-spot as “an erotic zone located on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra that would swell during sexual stimulation”.


Surprisingly the G-spot it isn’t so much a specific “spot” as much as it is an area that responds to stimulation, it’s surprising that many women have never discovered the orgasmic potential of this area. One line of thinking is that the G-spot can be described as the female prostate gland since, like the male prostate gland, it is sensitive to pressure and stimulation.


Researchers have also noted that stimulating this area is also likely to stimulate the internal clitoral legs and the urethra, both of which are sensitive to stimulation and can be the sources of great sexual excitement.


Women have two very important areas for sexual stimulation: the clitoris and the G-spot. Quite often stimulation of both is required to achieve a G-spot orgasm. Most women & their partners have no problem locating their clitoris because it is externally accessible, but the G-spot is a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered.


Finding your G-spot isn’t always easy and some women may go their entire lives without properly locating it. Even in this day and age the sexual impact of the G-spot is still something even professionals debate. For some women the G-spot is an area that can bring deep and intense orgasms and for others stimulating the area makes them feel like they have to urinate.


Maybe the most important thing about the G-spot is taking the time to get to know your body better, exploring what feels good and discovering the sexual responses that you get from different types of stimulation. Just imagine the amazing things you can discover during your search for this magic spot!


Basic Anatomy

You will find the G-spot located within the top of the vaginal wall. It is a small spongy area about two inches inside that, when stimulated properly, will become engorged and easier to locate. This usually means steady stroking & pressure with the head of the penis, fingers or a good G-spot dildo or vibrator. The above diagram shows the G-spot prior to stimulation and the changes that happen after stimulation. It is easiest to find the G-spot once a woman is aroused, making foreplay a crucial part of finding the G-spot.


Another benefit to G-spot stimulation is the potential to have an orgasm that includes female ejaculation. Some women make enough fluid that they notice it, even to the extent that it is similar to ejaculation. The sensations that precede female ejaculation may lead you to believe that this is urine, but this fluid is NOT urine so do not be concerned.


Please see our other pamphlets on the G-spot for more tips and tricks on pleasing this amazing area.

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Helping Your Partner Find Her G-Spot

Even when a women has been able to find her G-spot on her own she still may need some help from a toy or partner (or even better… both!) to get maximum pleasure from it. You are more likely to find the G-spot if the woman is already well aroused. Fingers are generally more effective than a penis because it makes it easier to feel the spongy tissue surrounding the G-spot. Use lots of lubrication and be sure that there are no jagged edges on finger nails and hands. This prevents damage to delicate feminine tissues.


There are several different ways you can explore the G-Spot as a couple. In order to find your partner’s G-spot for the first time get her to lie on her back, legs apart and hips rotated slightly upwards. Settle yourself between her legs and then insert two fingers (palm up) and begin exploring the upper wall of the vagina with slow, steady strokes while applying slight pressure. Remember that the G-spot is only 1.5” to 2” in so there is no need to reach as far in as you can. If your partner is properly aroused you should be able to feel a small patch of engorged tissue that varies in texture from the rest of the vaginal lining. The best technique is to use a ‘come hither’ motion against the G-spot applying pressure to the engorged area. Your other hand can also be placed on the abdomen, just above the pubic bone to exert soft downward pressure to the outside of the stimulated area.


A very important part of G-spot exploration and orgasm is to be comfortable, relaxed and to communicate with your partner about what feels good. Be sure to use lots of lubrication and feel free to add simultaneous clitoral stimulation, this brings on a rush of pleasurable sensations! You can also increase the sensitivity of the G-spot by using an arousal balm or cream to help increase blood flow to the area. Play with different motions, varying amounts of pressure, rubbing from side-to-side or tracing circles.


If your partner feels an urge to urinate or a “full bladder” sensation it is okay, this is completely normal and often is a sign of G-spot orgasm or female ejaculation—so don’t stop! Female ejaculate is a fluid that is often released during an intense orgasm. It may be a thick fluid (similar to semen) or a urine-like fluid, but it is not urine! The feeling will often continue with further massaging and can result in an awe-inspiring orgasm.


It is also possible to stimulate the G-spot during penetrative sex. Certain positions are better than others for achieving G-spot stimulation during intercourse and must be specifically angled to reach the G-spot and provide the right kind of stimulation. This can take some practice to be able to hit the right spot.


G-spot Sex Positions

Position #1: Penetrating your partner from behind helps put you in a better position for G-spot contact. Put your partner on her hands and knees, with her buttocks raised and head down. Kneel behind her and support her by the waist. As you penetrate her the penis will automatically be aiming for the front wall of the vagina. Use your thighs to press back and find the depth, thrust style and position that work best. Remember that you only need to be 1.5” – 2” in. Get your partner to lean forwards more, lowering their pelvic bone. This puts the penis on more of a downward angle and helps you to hit the G-spot more directly. Also try this with your partner lying down on her stomach with you on top of her, this can provide a direct angle to the G-spot!


Position #2: While your partner is laying on her back, put your hands around her waist and raise her buttocks and lower back up to meet you. Gently bend her legs so that her knees touch her breasts. Now make contact with her G-spot until she is in orgasmic delight!


Position #3: This one can be a little tricky! Position yourself so that you are kneeling or standing. Hook your partner’s legs over your shoulders so that her knees are beside your ears. Penetrate your partner while holding onto each other’s hands/arms to support each other and hang on for a pleasure ride! With many positions you can’t look your partner in the eyes but with this one you can which also makes it more intimate! You can do this position off your sofa, chair, table or modify it to work off of the end of your bed.


Don’t forget to combine simultaneous clitoral stimulation with these positions. Remember, the clitoral nerves extend inside the body and around the G-spot area, stimulating more than just the clitoris!

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Finding the Female G-Spot

Stimulation of the G-spot can bring deep and intense orgasms that vary from other orgasms. These orgasms are triggered by applying rhythmical pressure to the G-spot. There are many ways to achieve this desired pressure and every woman is different.

When you stimulate the G-spot and surrounding area, it will begin to swell and become engorged making it easier to find and stimulate. Remember, some women will respond quicker to stimulation than others.


Firm, controlled pressure is needed to reach the G-spot in its non-stimulated state. It helps to get aroused first and then start stroking the G-spot area with a firm, continual touch, if you start to experience twinges of pleasurable contractions, keep going! As you begin to approach the point of orgasm there may be a ‘full-bladder’ feeling. This happens because of the prolonged intensity of the orgasm. Some women will expel a clear and/or whitish fluid during the G-spot orgasm. This fluid is not urine, simply a female ejaculatory fluid.


If you can’t find the G-spot on your first attempt don’t become discouraged, it could take a few attempts and trying different types of stimulation to find what feels best. Don’t obsess over finding the “magic spot”. You must relax physically and mentally and not become fixated on achieving a sexual goal such as finding the G-spot. Sexual exploration should be about enjoying the journey, not focusing on the destination.


Get Your Motor Going

The area around the G-spot becomes engorged with blood when aroused, so it is easier to find when you’re turned on. Try starting with clitoral and/or breast massage and work your way up to penetration and G-spot massage. Having a G-spot orgasm is more of a marathon than a sprint.


Get Comfortable and Feel Around

Sit or lay in a comfortable position. Place your palm face down on your vulva and slowly insert a finger inside your vagina. When you’re up to about the second knuckle you should feel a slightly bumpy or ’spongy’ area on the upper wall of the vagina. This is the G-spot area. The G-spot responds to pressure, so press down and pull forward using a “come hither” motion with your fingers.


Use a Toy

It can be awkward to stimulate the G-spot by hand, a G-spot toy can be a great helper in this. Most G-spot toys will have a curved tip, ideally with a flat head, that curves towards the G-spot. Apply some lubricant to your toy and insert it with the tip pointing up toward the top wall of your vagina. Work it in slowly and far enough so the tip is pressing against your G-spot.


Experiment with Pressure & Motion

Some women will find steady pressure against the G-spot most pleasurable, some women like the feeling vibration when a toy is pressing against the G-spot. In the beginning, use your toy as if you were trying to scratch an itch—don’t pull the toy all the way out, but use short strokes applying firm pressure, against the G-spot. A circular or back-and-forth motion may be best or even more vigorous motions.


Let go!

You’ll know you’re hitting the spot as you feel tingly sensations and an overall elevation in your arousal. When you feel the urge to orgasm try to stimulate your clitoris while stroking your G-spot. For most women the “urge to pee” or full bladder feeling will precede the G-spot orgasm, this can be quite alarming at first and has probably led plenty of women to abandon the process, but if you stick with it you’ll be in for a pleasant surprise!


A Feeling of Fullness

The sensation of a ‘full’ vagina can be achieved by also stimulating the back wall of the vagina. This triggers the body to release more of a woman’s natural lubricant, sometimes in the form of female ejaculation. The new G-Vibe can help to create this feeling of fullness.


Try, Try Again!

It can take several practice sessions to find the G-spot. Try varying your position, using a different toy, experimenting with breathing and kegel exercises, or having a partner help you. There is also a great book by Violet Blue called “The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot” that has many tips and pointers.


Finding the G-spot can take some time so don’t become discouraged if it takes some time, exploring this area is half the fun!

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Female Anatomy 101

It is surprising how many women have not taken the time to get to know what their own sexual parts look like or what they are called and very few have accessed to information on what female sexual parts are and how these parts can increase sexual responsiveness. Female sexual anatomy can be broken down into two categories, external and internal.


External Genitals

  • Vulva: The vulva refers to the most visible parts of the female genitals and includes the Mons Pubis (pubic mound), outer and inner labia, clitoral hood, urethral opening and vaginal opening. The look of the vulva varies from woman to woman in size, shape and color.
  • Mons Pubis: Also called the Mons Veneris or ‘Mountain of Venus’, this is the area of skin that lies above the pubic bone. It is often rounded with a fatty pad of tissue under the skin and is where most of the pubic hair grows. It may be the least sensitive part of the vulva but many women enjoy the feeling of touching, massage or even vibration, as the stimulation can be felt throughout the area.
  • Labia: Latin for “lips”, women have two sets of labia. The outer thicker labia, called Labia Majora, are what you see without spreading your legs wide open. In between the Labia Majora are another set of lips, the Labia Minora (“little lips”). These are much thinner and more flexible than the Labia Majora. The inner labia may be longer or seem to stick out more than the outer labia and tend to be more sensitive to stimulation.
  • Perineum: This is the area between the vaginal opening and the anus. During sexual arousal and excitement, the area may become more sensitive and some women may find massaging the area to be pleasurable where others may find it too sensitive for direct stimulation.
  • Clitoris & Clitoral Body: The labia come together at the top into a little hood that covers the clitoris. The visible part of the clitoris sits under the top of the Labia Minora; this tip is made mainly of erectile tissues. These tissues become engorged with blood during arousal making it firmer and larger. This area can be highly sensitive & pleasurable and contains 8,000 nerve endings, double the amount of the male glans. What you won’t be able to directly feel or see is the clitoral legs that extend inside the body into two roots on either side of the vagina.
  • Urethral Opening: The urethral opening is where urine comes out and can be seen if you pull back the folds of the labia. Some women find stimulation of this area to be very pleasurable, some don’t notice and others find stimulation irritating.


Internal Sexual Anatomy

  • The Vagina: Located between the vaginal opening and the cervix. The vagina has both reproductive and sexual pleasure functions and capacities. There’s no ideal size or shape to a vagina and the size changes dramatically as a woman becomes aroused. For most women, the vagina is self-lubricating and usually moist on the inside. The bottom/outermost third of the vagina has the most nerve endings and is the most sensitive to stimulation. The upper two-thirds of the vagina have relatively few nerve endings, and most women will only feel sensation from deep pressure. The vagina is on an angle in the body, tilting slightly backward from bottom to top with the cervix at the top. Most women find touching the cervix to be uncomfortable and/or painful, although a select few may enjoy the feeling.
  • Urethral Sponge or G-spot: A number of glands surround the area between the bladder and the urethral opening. Fluid is produced in these glands and may be released into the urethra during orgasm. Some women produce a noticeable amount of lubrication, even to the extent similar to ejaculation. Many find that they have a sensitive spot on the inside and top of the vaginal wall that can be felt and swells when stimulated, this is known as the G-spot. For more information see our G-spot pamphlets.
  • PC Muscle: The PC muscle, pubococcygeus muscle, is a sling of muscles that support the pelvic floor and surround the internal genitalia. These muscles are involved in urination (when you stop yourself from peeing in mid-stream, you’re using your PC muscles) and are also involved in orgasm. Many women find that doing regular exercises to strengthen these muscles changes the way their sexual response feels. These exercises are usually referred to as kegel exercises and can be enhanced by using kegel (Ben Wa) balls or weights.
  • Hymen: The hymen is a thin membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening inside. Contrary to much mythology, the hymen is not a solid structure that is broken (or “popped”) during first vaginal penetration. The hymen usually has several openings and may change and stretch as a woman’s body changes through puberty.
  • Uterus: Located above the cervix, the uterus or “womb” is a hollow, muscular organ in which a fertilized egg becomes embedded and nourished as it develops until birth. It lies in the pelvic cavity above the cervix.


We hope this helps increase your understanding of the female pleasure system and helps you discover new types of satisfaction!

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Erection Rings

Erection rings may also be called cock rings, vibrating rings or penis rings and are a very popular sex toy that can be used during foreplay, intercourse or masturbation. Penile rings are placed around the base of the penis and/or around both the penis and scrotum. The ring allows blood to flow into the penis through the arteries that are closer to the center of the penis, while restricting the flow of blood out of the penis through the veins that are closer to the surface. As the pleasurable feeling of firmness increases, the erection is prolonged and ejaculation is delayed. The sensitivity of the penis also changes which may enable a man to maintain better control over when he experiences orgasm.


Most penis rings are made of silicone or latex rubber, rings for more advanced users may be made of metal, leather or alternative materials. They usually feature a variety of textures on the outer rim and should be chosen according to size and design. A loose ring will do nothing, while a ring that is too-tight cuts off all retreating blood flow rather than just restricting it; while a constantly hard penis might sound like fun, it can become painful and even dangerous over extended periods of time.


How is the Ring Worn?

When it comes to wearing a ring it really is personal preference. Some may prefer to wear a ring around the penis only, while some prefer to wear it around the base of the penis and wrapped around the testicles.


Getting it On

Putting on a solid cock ring (such as metal) can be tricky, and taking it off even trickier! A solid ring is easiest to put on when the penis is soft, putting the testicles through first and then the penis. Taking it off is the reverse process, but since these toys are designed to prolong erections, this can be easier said than done. Flexible rings are much easier to put on and get off; they are simply stretched over the erect penis and wrapped around the scrotum.


How Long Can I Wear the Ring?

Beginners should experiment carefully with how long they wear the ring; if it becomes uncomfortable it should be removed immediately. An maximum of 20 minutes or so is the recommended time limit for wearing a ring since you are playing with blood flow. In order to avoid unpleasant snaps or snags, you may want to trim or shave the hair in the area where you will be wearing the ring and, as with most toys, a little lubrication always helps. Remember to use the right lube for the type of material of the cock ring you are using. See our pamphlet on “Personal Lubricants” for additional information.


Will the Ring Stimulate My Partner?

The adult toy industry has become quite creative in designing these toys, they come in all different shapes and sizes and it is fun to try a variety of designs to find the favorites for you and your partner. Vibrating or tickling rings are great for couples who are trying toys for the first time as they are versatile and mutually pleasing. The vibration of these rings stimulate both partners at the same time and when powerful enough can make the penis feel like it is vibrating. Some vibrating rings are designed to be used only once as they have small battery cartridge that only runs for 45 minutes to an hour, some you are able to change the batteries in and high end rechargeable ones are becoming more widely available. Read the packaging or ask your local Smitten staffer for more details!


Specialty Rings

Rings that are designed specifically for erectile function and support are designed to be slightly larger, firmer and functional. A great example of these is erectile slings that scoop under the penis, towards the scrotum to provide more support for the penis.


Who Shouldn’t Use Rings?

If you have a circulatory issue, blood clotting disorder, diabetes, vascular or nerve disorder or if you are taking medications related to any of these conditions such as anticoagulants, aspirin or blood thinners you should consult your doctor before using erectile rings. Remember, rings restrict the blood flow out of the penis. In addition, you should never wear a cock ring for more than 20 minutes or you may risk damaging the blood vessels in the penis.


As always remember to communicate with your partner and include them in the decision to try something new.

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With such a wide variety of dildos available this guide will help you choose your right one! Dildos are a very popular toy and are the oldest form of sex toys in the world, dating as far back as 28,000 years.


The Joys of the Dildo

Dildos offer a different type of stimulation from vibrators. They allow the person being penetrated to be in complete control of the range, speed and type of motion. Some may prefer a deep, slow massage, while others prefer a fast, thrusting movement. You choose the length, width, texture, shape and even color of the dildo according to your personal tastes.


Pleasure is Only One of the Benefits!

Dildos can even contribute to better sexual health. Women who are approaching or have reached menopause can use dildos to help decrease the effects of menopause on the vaginal wall. Menopause can contribute to the thinning of the vaginal wall and regular use of a dildo can help maintain vaginal tone and decrease the effects of menopause. Dildos can also help lessen the effects of vaginal conditions caused by tense muscles by helping to maintain vaginal tone.


How to Decide Which Dildo is Right for You

Finding the dildo that is right for you can be a difficult process. Our boutiques carry a wide range of sizes and types of dildos and choosing just one can be overwhelming. Generally you’re looking for “the right tool for the job” – a dildo which is a perfect size for you, easy to clean and reasonably priced. Some people prefer realism, and want a dildo that simulates the sexual experience of a man’s penis. At Smitten you’ll find an assortment of dildos of varying authenticity, some more realistic than others. Choosing the right dildo comes down to three key elements:

  • Picking a dildo material that works for you
  • Deciding what you want your dildo to do
  • Choosing a dildo shape, size, and color


Picking A Dildo Material for You

Dildos made of 100% silicone are the best quality dildos available and are highly recommended, if they are in your budget.

  • Silicone is a recommended material for all toys because it is clean, strong and durable. It is nonporous and can be boiled in water. Silicone retains temperature, is soft to the touch and is available in a wide range of colors, shapes, and sizes. Note: Do not use silicone based lubricants on silicone dildos, it may damage your dildo. Water based lubricants are recommended for use with silicone dildos.
  • Jelly-Rubber dildos are inexpensive and available in a wide range of colors, shapes and sizes. However, jelly rubber dildos are often made of inferior quality material, and may contain phthalates, a chemical that has been linked to health problems in other products and situations. For this reason if you use jelly rubber dildos look for a ‘phthalate free’ logo on the packaging. If you are unsure it is recommended that you use a latex condom over the toy.
  • Plush dildos made from realistic feeling materials such as CyberSkin, ReelFeel or SensaFeel are brand specific ways of referring to the soft material that they are made from. The only reason to choose a plush dildo is for the ‘real’ feel. The main drawback is that it is not as durable, tears easily and is porous, therefore, difficult to keep clean.
  • Alternative Material dildos such as those made from metal, glass or acrylic are beautiful looking and are often handmade by artisans rather than mass manufactured in a factory. Dildos made of these materials are very durable, beautifully designed and easy to keep clean. They also provide a different kind of stimulation because they hold their shape when inserted. As such they are good for G-spot stimulation or pressure stimulation. Some people may find that the lack of flexibility of these toys make them too intense. Also, be careful not to drop glass or acrylic dildos as it may weaken them.


Anal Dildos

Dildos tend to be made with vaginal penetration in mind, but providing your dildo has no seams, no sharp edges and has a wide flared base, it is should also be safe for anal penetration. If you want to use your dildo for both anal and vaginal penetration, use condoms to protect the dildo or buy a silicone dildo you can boil in water between the time it is used vaginally and anally.


Harness Compatible Dildos

If you want to use your dildo in a harness, there are few things to make sure you look for:

  1. Make sure your dildo has a wide flared base that is big enough to hold the dildo in place in the harness.
  2. Try to get a dildo that is at least five inches long. If you are using your dildo in a harness you don’t need to use the whole length, but a dildo that’s too short can be annoying in a harness.
  3. It is also better to get a firmer dildo for harness use to help it stay in place better so it does not slip out of the harness. A soft dildo won’t be able to hold its shape in a harness as well as a firm dildo.


Double Ended Dildos

These are designed for simultaneous double penetration and can be used for vaginal or anal penetration. High quality double ended dildos are made of silicone and have a curve to them that facilitates greater movement and physical closeness. You can also find inexpensive double ended dildos made of jelly-rubber. Double ended dildos can also be used for solo play where the other end is a convenient handle. Some curved double ended dildos are designed for use in a harness to provide double penetration for female wearers.


Shape, Size & Color

When choosing the shape of your dildo you may want the look of a realistic penis, a fun dolphin shape or a fun ribbed shape! Dildos can be shaped for G-spot stimulation, for prostate stimulation or be completely straight with no curves.

If this is your first dildo you may want to start with something basic so you can get an idea of what you are looking for. You may want to avoid the more unusual shapes, as it might hinder the amount of movement you can have when using the dildo.

The size of your dildo will greatly depend on personal preference. If you don’t know what size you want, start with a size you are familiar and/or comfortable with. Don’t worry about getting a toy that is too long, you don’t need to use the entire length of the dildo, but if it is too wide, it’s could be uncomfortable or even painful. The size of dildo someone wants can change as you become more aroused, relaxed and become adjusted to the size or shape of your new toy. For this reason a lot of people have more than one dildo, in different sizes.

The color of your dildo may not be an issue but if it is most dildos come in a range of colors! People who feel strange about using dildos often prefer a dildo color that is unlike human skin tone such as deep blue, purple or even rainbow!


As with any exploration be open and respectful with your partner both when discussing trying something new and during the actual time you are experimenting with new toys.


And as always, remember to love lots and play safe!

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Vibrating Bullets

Vibrating bullets are a popular and simple toy to enhance to your sexual pleasure.


The bullet vibrator is a very popular vibrator because of how simple, discreet and effective it is. It can be used on your own or with a partner, on the clitoris, labia, breasts or any other erogenous zone! It can even be used on the tip of a penis, the scrotum or perineum (patch of skin between the scrotum and the anus). Its versatility makes it a great couple’s toy!


A bullet vibrator is named so because in its traditional design it resembles the shape of a bullet. Vibrating bullets range from a basic self-contained bullet that is no more than 2 inches long to egg-shaped bullets that are connected to a controller by a cord. There are also cordless varieties which may have self-contained batteries, be rechargeable or even have a wireless remote control!


Bullet vibrators can be a great first time toy and are a perfect way to start exploring vibrating toys as you begin to discover where vibration feels the best for you and your partner.

  • Ideal for clitoral stimulation and any kind of external stimulation of other erogenous zones.
  • Inexpensive; making these great for first time buyers; this is often the first toy people, particularly women, will buy!
  • Easy to add into couple’s sex play, to use on a partner or on yourself.
  • Good for body & erotic massage.


Bullets are usually made of hard plastic that may be coated in a thin layer of silicone or jelly latex. This provides a softer feel to the outside of the bullet.


You should never insert a bullet inside the body so far that you need to use the cord to retrieve it and bullets should never be inserted anally. If you really want to use a bullet vibrator vaginally you can try putting it inside of an unrolled condom. This way you can use the base of the condom to pull the toy out. This protects the bullet from exposure to fluids as well.


A lot of bullets are not waterproof so never submerge the bullet and/or cord to clean unless the packaging specifically states the bullet is fully waterproof. It is also common to see a bullet/controller set where the bullet is waterproof but the controller is not. Read the packaging carefully and when in doubt err on the side of caution and do not get it wet.


To clean a bullet and/or controller that are not waterproof use some toy cleaner (such as Swiss Navy Toy & Body Cleaner) and water to carefully wipe clean. It’s best to remove the batteries from your bullet (and any battery operated sex toys) before storing them to avoid having any damage to the toys from battery acid leaks inside the toy that can cause internal damage to the toy.


Smitten’s Fun Bullet Ideas

Give your partner a dual-bullet massage! Take 2 bullets (or a controller that can run 2 bullets), cover your lover in massage oil and give them a vibrating dual bullet massage! This is a great way to pamper and relax after a long day!


Use it as an oral sex helper! While performing oral sex on your partner hold the vibrating bullet against nearby erogenous zones.


Keep a bullet in the glove compartment of your car for when you get stuck in traffic. It helps pass the time and relieve the stress of road rage! (This is just for fun! Smitten does not endorse distracted driving!)

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Kegel Exercises & Ben Wa Balls

A simple guide on the how and why of kegel exercises and how weights such as Ben Wa Balls benefit vaginal health.


At Smitten we hear questions about this popular product all the time! Ben Wa Balls are by many names such as kegel balls, pleasure balls, kegel weights or Geisha Balls. Ben Wa Balls are small balls that can be made of metal, plastic or glass. They are usually solid but can also contain a small weight that rolls around inside them, creating a vibrating sensation for unique stimulation.


Ben Wa Balls are inserted into the vagina and require use of the muscles in the vagina (also known as pelvic floor or ’PC’ muscles) to hold them in place, therefore, helping to strengthen these important muscles. Building up the PC muscles aids in vaginal strength, bladder control, bowl urgency issues, orgasm control and can lead to more intense orgasms! Ben Wa Balls that are weighted create a ‘vibrating’ sensation when they are rocked back and forth. These may also called pleasure balls or duo-tone balls.


The first time you use your Ben Wa Balls can be a little intimidating. That’s why we have

put together the following guide.


Steps to Use Ben Wa Balls

  1. Use the restroom before inserting the balls in the vagina.
  2. Insert one ball at a time. You can put lubrication on the balls to help them glide in. Inserting the balls is similar to inserting an applicator-less tampon, such as O.B.. If you’re not used to inserting tampons or if you’re having trouble, try lifting one leg up or crouching while inserting the balls. You can also try inserting them while lying down.
  3. Once they are inserted, squeeze your leg muscles together followed by your PC muscles to hold the balls in. The balls should push down a little bit inside of you and may make your vagina feel “full”. Much like tampons, you should eventually get used to the feeling.
  4. Hold the balls inside for 10-15 minutes a day to strengthen your PC muscles. Once you become used to them you can hold them in for longer periods, even hours, for an even better workout!
  5. If any balls slip out, simply wash them well with cleaner and water and slip them back in.
  6. There are several ways to remove the balls including: jumping up and down, sneezing, coughing, sitting and bearing down with your pelvic muscles, lubricant can also help them slide out, etc. If you are concerned about removing the balls, you may want to purchase balls that are strung onto a retrieval cord. In any case do not panic! It is NOT possible for the balls to disappear inside the vagina, they will eventually come out on their own.


If you are new to Ben Wa Balls you may want to start by using larger glass or plastic balls rather than the heavier metal balls. These materials tend to be lighter and the larger size will help you to hold the balls in and gradually increase the strength of your PC muscles while you work your way up to heavier weights.


Start off using the balls at home and do not attempt any vigorous activity while you are getting used to them. Even coughing or sneezing could cause the balls to fall out. Once you have built up the strength of your PC muscles you may try wearing them in public, however, keep in mind that metal balls will set off metal detectors and having them come out accidentally could be awkward so plan accordingly.


Ben Wa Balls can also be used to enhance sexual stimulation. Rocking back and forth while the balls are inserted will stimulate the inside of the vagina and use during intercourse will move the balls around stimulating both the vagina and the penis.


Stay away from Ben Wa Balls that have a cloth or cotton string connecting them together. These strings are very difficult to properly clean and could possibly lead to infection.


As you can see, Ben Wa Balls have many benefits! These small little weights allow you to improve your sex life while having fun at the same time and are the easiest workout routine you will ever have! It’s easy to see why women world-wide have loved their Ben Wa Balls for hundreds of years!